so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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