your thong is hanging out like whoa
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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