When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize