it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
