I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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