one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
