Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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