I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
