You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
