Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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