her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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