I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
