i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
