theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize