no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ttyl tear gas
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
