If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
