Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
