Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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