That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
