i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he thought i was a dude.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
