Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
