in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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