So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
soo... how was my night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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