is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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