is your mom at the bar?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
where does the pee come out of this thing
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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