just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
