we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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