id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
