when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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