i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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