We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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