I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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