You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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