Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
