i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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