i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
