just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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