Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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