He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
