Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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