A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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