exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I need water and some morals
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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