Yo dont text me then not text me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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