Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
