I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
don't judge my taste in strippers
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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