You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize