She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize