im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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