Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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