she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
