I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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