should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The power of my boobs compel you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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