Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
