well you can't waste a boner
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
