Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
