so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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