I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Randomize
