Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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