Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
