Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
