I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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