if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize