Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
