I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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