coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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