shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
