awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Drunk is not a location!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
