Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
