Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
