It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
