Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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