Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
