tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
