haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this will be a night to untag.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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