My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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