Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And then he peed in my hair
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